“I fought for a toxic love for three plus years. I settled for a $300 ring and called it commitment. I stayed at a $300 a week job I called purpose; broke and burned out and still telling myself it was worth it.
I know what it is to second guess whether or not you are being devalued, marginalized, minimized or taken for granted. I also know the revival that comes with making a decision to not settle for less than you deserve.
Now, I want to guide you through the process from settling to setting things in ways that serve your life and not drain it. "
What You Will Learn...
A way to finally name the signals you've been overlooking
Why good, capable people stay in situations too long and how to catch it sooner
The five response patterns that quietly keep you stuck
A clear first step back into the driver's seat of your own life
There were years I thought I was in control of my life... I wasn’t. I was a passenger who had convinced herself she had her hands on the wheel. I thought that my movement, achievement, receiving applause and being needed, were signals that I was progressive and on the path of purpose.
Wherever the road took me somewhere that made me feel uncertain or challenged, I would pull on my Creativity and Resilience, show up and make things happen. When the road ahead seemed dark and I asked myself, "is this it?", or "should I stay or should I go?", I would pull on my Optimism, my Faith, and my “Don’t Quit” attitude to help me keep moving. ahead. I didn’t know that the repetitive signal of discomfort and uncertainty was a signal to pause and take a look at my path; my relationships, connections, or whatever I was pouring myself into.
What I would learn only after I ended up a wreck sitting in the passenger seat of my life, wondering, “Why me?”, was that it is required that I follow the directions that align with where I believed I was purpose to go. I also learned that on that path, there is only one designated driver, and that person is me. Likewise, you are the only designated driver on your road to your best, true to vision and purpose life.
I was the poster child for a person who seemed to be well, but secretly managing areas of my life where I had crashed. My experience at one point was so severe that I began to develop physical ailments from the impact of the stress resulting from me abandoning the driver’s seat of my life to other people and other people’s opinions. I especially did this in relationships and under ministerial leadership. For you, it may be your job or career, friendships, parent, mentor, or any source you depend on for advice.
When you become a passenger, you compromise what you really want and your power and confidence to attain it. Where you should be a hero, you are looking for someone to sweep in and rescue you. Instead of being the boss of your life, you are like an employee. You are the sidekick in the movie of your own life, instead of the star. You are progressively living on levels lower than your capacity and your value.
Let’s give this, compromised state of being, language. This is called “Settling”.
